The conception of this blog came about when I had met a complete stranger and we began talking about how our lives were going. Not any of that “It’s going okay/good/fine” kind of bullshit, I had taken the opportunity to really open up to her and it paid off. Let me preface this story by saying that being lonely is a different animal than being alone. I’m sure all of you are aware of the discrepancies between the two, so I won’t waste your eye energy coming up with a metaphor that’s going to blow your mind – instead I’ll assure you that the objective of this blog is for you to understand that one of them is impossible to feel… so long as you practice vulnerability. Which one is impossible to feel? Being alone. It’ll start off VERY cliche, but I promise it’ll unfold into something that goes deeper than “you’re never alone, I’ll always be here for you.”
Sometimes, it’s nice knowing you have someone to turn to when things go bad – I put a big emphasis on sometimes, because that feeling is nothing compared to knowing you have someone that understands you.
So, I meet her and we immediately start to talk about how our lives are going – as expected, we kind of beat around the bush and test each other’s reactions based off of the stories we’re sharing. Finally, we make a connection on how we’re stuck in the same situation – the both of us are running around in circles trying to find answers to the questions we’re too scared to ask. If I had a dollar for every time one of us muttered, “ME TOO!” or “I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!”, I could’ve bought the both of us a home in Hawai’i Kai. But, those phrases don’t seem as superficial as the ones we get from our friends who in actuality DON’T know how this feels. In current jargon… she had the “receipts” for her situation to be similar to mine. The situation, the feelings, the questions, the hesitancy, and the underlying pain… we shared that together. I couldn’t even remember her name but she had given me something not a lot of people can conjure up when talking about life; relief, I had gotten relief from her. Someone was going through something, I felt, no one understood – I didn’t feel alone, I felt a deep connection.
I’m not shitting on my friends, I promise. But, theres something ethereal about a complete stranger lighting up with excitement because she, too, didn’t feel so alone. While we didn’t reach a solution, we reached a mutual understanding of how our lives were spinning in the same direction – and that was enough for us. That’s the satisfaction that we were yearning for from all of the people supporting us – just someone that REALLY empathizes with us. I have a lot of friends that are great listeners and a lot of friends that can pull bits and pieces of their experiences and relate them to the problems I’m facing but it doesn’t bring that much relief.
When discussing what we thought a solution would be, we actually came up with beneficial ones. Things I probably would have never of thought about on my own – I’m the poster child for a person that gives advice but doesn’t take my own. But! Opening up in that moment, you can’t help but take your own advice because your brain finally feels like it can breathe and take in what’s being said. So here I am, putting into practice the solution that both of us came up with – I’m working on myself, and this blog is the way I’m going to do that (sorta). The content that this complete stranger and I discussed will probably show up later – that’s why I’m not going too much into the details of our exchange. The focus here was on our bond, just by opening up.
While I don’t have the luxury of really interacting with you, the reader, I’d love to open up to you in this way and show you that you are not going through something alone. Someone out there understands what you’re going through – and someone understands that things are a lot easier said than done in your situation. I have a lot of content to cover, and I’m sure some of you will be able to relate. So welcome; I hope we can forge a connection, too.
Inhale, Exhale 